Well I guess you could say I’m an open book so I share with those most important to me. My therapist and my yoga instructor’s they both have special bonds with me. And of course one or two friends know mostly everything about me. But most of all I’m honest. I feel at this point in my life if I can’t be open honest and candid with the most important people in my life than what is the purpose of them in my life. I’m also honest with people if you ask me a question I told the truth.
You see it’s difficult hear in Los Angeles. I knew it would be. I knew the challenges I would face. I knew the obstacles that would be in my way.
But I took this challenge at 56 years old (now 57) because I didn’t want to wake up at 60 and say I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. And I love Los Angeles in every way. I have connected with everything I could possibly connect with to give myself good health, a good mind, body and soul.
But I never knew at this point in my life I would still be alive 30 years later. They told me I would be dead by now so my planning was poor for the future. No IRA, no retirement fund not very much in savings since my healthcare takes a lot of that. Yes I do have health care and I am fortunate for it. But when you need a HIV doctor, cardiologist, an oncologist, psychiatrist, regular therapist they all take co-pays and that takes a chunk monthly. But I am so blessed to be alive and to be able to write this blog and tell my story.
By accident I chose the wrong neighborhood to live in, which causes a lot of stress in my life. I am searching and searching and searching for the right apartment in a better neighborhood. I am on a number of waiting list. So many I can’t count. But that’s good one of these apartments will call and that will make me very happy and I will be rewarded. So I continue to look and search.
So for now I can continue to speak about my life to my friends to the people I trust and the people who will understand and give me good analysis what I’m doing right or wrong. I think in life there is no right or wrong, we learn from our mistakes and learn from our achievements.
My therapist is a special guy he has good ears and he gives could analysis when needed, and always has great lead in questions. I trust him. He knows of all these challenges and obstacles that I have but always says make sure you take care of your body, mind, and spirit. Do not put any positive energy into the things you cannot change for now. Do not let it stress you out. You can’t change it for the moment. So work on what you can change and know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, a big bright light. Because I believe with all this hard work and all these challenges I will be rewarded in the end. Hey look I’ve survived Aids almost 28 years that’s a huge achievement.