I DO CARE……………..

I do care when I see someone is in such pain that they take their own life. It saddens me that pain is so real and at times so strong. Sadly we don’t put as much thought into how these mental health issues can be so consuming that it’s all you feel. And when a celeb takes their life it gets highlighted again. But for me this celeb is a human being first and is in pain, and has been in pain for a while. Struggling with life and not knowing where to turn. And how we put up such a good facade that sometimes some brush it off. Oh, he or she will come out of it. Or he or she is in a good mood today, they’ll be alright. Until that person goes to such a length to end that pain.

My pain sometimes takes me to some very dark places which it takes a while to come back from. The fear, anxiety, and other very strong emotions just take over. You’d hope your meds were working properly but sometimes it just not the meds. For me it’s fear and it’s strong and I feel it most days. For some that fear can be very painful, for me it’s very real and consumes me. There are moments that you live moment to moment, hour by hour.
Like at this moment I forgot my afternoon med and I’m full of anxiety, similar to crawling out of my skin. Because I know what’s ahead which brings on the fear. I look forward to the end of the day and the end of the week. But there are days one might just forget so everyday melds into the next. Similar to my four Tuesdays. Missed a whole week. So sometimes even when you know someone is caring about you it’s just difficult to get into that zone. Because you are so consumed. Depression is real and I know number people that deal with it on different levels. Thank god for now they’re able to cope. But when you get to that place there’s no telling. Your coping mechanisms just aren’t working.

So yes I care about the man or woman that takes their life. No, there is nothing selfish or cowardly about it. That pain again is so strong and that place is so dark to them that that’s where their at. It could be so overwhelming and consuming and if there’s no one around to help talk you down or just listen it could make that decision much easier. But it doesn’t really matter when a mind is made up and that struggle is so strong that suicide seems the only option. Let’s try to recognize it before it gets to that point.

SO YES I CARE………………..!

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