How lucky can one be when the 110 & the 101 flowed so smoothly that I made it to West Hollywood in 15 minutes. Very lucky! What it really helped with was my anxiousness. Between my meds and the smooth morning seems to have brought it from a eight down to a five. And that’s good.
I woke this am feeling fine but something triggered and bingo! I know what’s ahead in the month and it’s freaks me out. Some very important
financial obligations, like every month. And like every month it’s an issue.
But that’s not just the problem. I don’t know how I can continue to ride this roller coaster. I love living in Los Angeles so I knew this day would come and it creeped up on me. This would have happened no matter where I lived. This brings on a level of fear and lots of anxiety. Some days there is a little level of optimism but doesn’t always last long. And lately that optimism is coming from the positive responses I’m getting from calling the apartments that I’m on the waiting list. But reality is that it’s a day to day, moment by moment situation. I try to cope but it’s hard.
I think back at all the money that’s gone thru my hands in the past 6 years it makes me sad. I was a bad money manager, so I’m here today. It’s no ones fault. I used the money to mask what was going on inside. But this a subject for another post.
Back to the freeways, I was lucky and today I’m grateful for the smooth ride and my anxiety is just a little bit less. This is good.