After I left Glenn & Glen’s House after that wonderful lunch they made me I headed home. It’s so kind of them to think of me often. But the minute I got in that car the anxiety and fear came on and it was a very difficult ride home. I couldn’t wait to get home, feed the dog and write a post about ” What do say to someway with all these fears”. Just to calm myself a little. It always helps to write for me. Need I say that I was writing it in my mind while driving home.
I arrive home I take something to calm myself down, took care of the dog and got a glass of water and put it next to my iPad. I was ready to write. Lucas wanted to be in my lap, obviously he got comfortable. At that point I really wasn’t at my best. So I started with attaching a photo expressing what was really going on and how I felt. And gave the post a heading “What do you say” when the phone rang. I was hesitant to answer but I knew there was a good reason to answer, no matter how I felt.
It was a dear friend of almost forty plus years, so if anyone knew me she did. Of course the first question was “what’s going on”. Luckily I was ready to write so my issues were fresh. We talked and I explained everything, I was very honest, even though I felt so ashamed of myself. But she is an extremely rational person and I knew we would break down what’s going on, medically and personally. As we did. It was a tough conversation but I felt safe explaining and she questioning. A true friend, did I say she was a nurse so she had an understanding of the meds. She only knew by stumbling on my blog. I guess FB friends don’t look at links. But I find more and more people stepping away from me and I understand. I really just need a good ear, I will have to solve this myself.
During this whole time my anxiety and fears were subsiding by just speaking to someone who knows me well. It’s almost like she talked me down from this roller coaster. I have so few of these friends. But after the conversation she sent me this quote and it really sums up my life. I know I can rebound, I just have so many difficult hurdles. I cannot say that my mental health issues will change along with the personal problems quickly. But she helped give me some tools to work with and I’m grateful.