I hold it in my hand……..

I awakened to quite a surprising morning. Not sure what it all means but I know I am grateful, fortunate and blessed just to have people think of me. I don’t know what comes of it. But the idea that people have me in their thoughts and prayers is very comforting. No matter what’s in the refrigerator or cupboards. Whether I eat or miss a day of eating, it’s okay I’m grateful. I have a roof over my head, Starbucks gives me free coffee cause they like me while I write these posts and sometimes Glenn meets me and buys me lunch with take home for the next night.

Yes I’ve never been in this situation before , but it’s certainly humbling me. I remember always giving to the homeless outside my Starbucks in Florida. When I had it I gave or bought them lunch. One in particular was always there and we would converse and he told me about his life before. He had most his faculties and he had a good life that changed for him. But he was grateful that we treated him the same as others. He was one my local Starbuck friends. I didn’t think of him any different. There were some days he would want to buy me coffee, but I wouldn’t let him. He was my friend.

So yes I’m embarrassed and at the lowest I’ve been ever. And I don’t wish this on anyone ever. But hey what can I do, I do the best I can. Continue to look for a more affordable apartment and try to just fuel my system the best I can. My mental state is what it is, some days up and some down, but I truly value those middle moments. It helps with the clarity.

The best I can.

The best I can

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