Is moving back to New Jersey the answer?
Good question and my parents would be rolling over in their graves if I did. Sometimes we come full circle.
Well last night a few friends and I were chatting. They were from the East Coast, NE. With all what I’m dealing with they are trying to help. So we put our thinking caps on and came up with this idea, would it be better if I went back to my home state to live, New Jersey. We waved a whole lot of pros and cons. At the end of the conversation the pros and cons were even! For me. Family , friends, familiar territory, a place to live to get my shit together. Theses are concerned friends that were doing their best. There were a number of cons. Medical team, but that I can put together, searching for a senior or subsidized apartment complex, #Affordability, winters, family is pretty scattered, and a numbered of other things.
Yes , living with these friends would give me the time to start all over again, able to research housing, AIDS agencies, medical, and give me some money to put a side until I find a place. Here in LA we have an agency called HOPWA which helps you move when you find a place. Not sure if New Jersey has this program. I’ve worked for ten months to get into the system here in LA, and that was with a lot of leg work and gas. All that’s missing right now is the proper housing. Yes, I’m here ten months and I might not get a call for six months or so for housing. So I have to deal with were I’m at. But I would have to begin all all over again in NJ. And I’m not sure if I’m up to the move at this point, I feel somewhat fragile, with a little light at the end of the tunnel. Plus this move would range between $4500-$5000. And I cannot ask anyone for help. I just don’t have the money to pay back anyone and will not be able to in the future. So I cannot put my good friends in this position. Yes NJ would be an interesting move for me but I’m not ready for it yet. The Jersey shore would be great to live. Maybe I’ll have to in the future but for now I have to challenge myself to make this work. I have worked too hard and spent way too much money in the last ten months to walk away.
I really have some very special friends. My grammar school years are one group which is always been there when someone is in need. And it’s been almost 44 years that I’ve seen some. One I just saw recently in California and it was like yesterday. And most we correspond thru Facebook. But they are a great group. I cherish their friendships. And then there’s my High School friends, there aren’t to many coming up. But that’s okay, everyone has something going on in their life. They were a great group also. We had a lot of special times then and with some now. But there’s two or three that are there and I valued them. I have some other friends that have stepped back. I understand.
But those that have in me in their thoughts and prayers I thank you and God bless you all.