je suis charlie

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HOT OFF THE PRESSES READ THE NEW ISSUE OF CHARLIE HEBDO IN ENGLISH BY TRACY MCNICOLL01.14.15

Before dawn in Paris on Wednesday morning, and all over France, newsstands were overwhelmed with demand for the latest edition of Charlie Hebdo, the survivors’ issue. It sold out within minutes. The presses are still whirring as the magazine tries to produce five million copies for delivery, up from the normal print run of 60,000, but there’s no need to wait, The Daily Beast has snagged a copy for you.

Under extraordinary circumstances, the surviving staff of Charlie Hebdo has produced an issue that is perfectly true to type: defiant, uncompromising, funny, sometimes bittersweet, but with nary a hint of the melodramatic. None of the murdered staffers are left out and, just as they would have liked, no target for ridicule is spared.

The cover:

The cartoonist Luz has reprised the Muhammad caricature that made the satirical publication the target of the terrorists in the first place. But the resulting prophet is compassionate, not crude. He is tearful, holding up the same “Je suis Charlie” sign that has become a global clarion call for free expression this week. Above his head, is a banner declaring: “All is forgiven.”

Luz told reporters Tuesday that he cried after drawing it. “It wasn’t the cover the world wanted us to do. It wasn’t the cover the terrorists wanted us to do. But it’s ours. We drew Muhammad again. I’m sorry. But the Muhammad we drew is above all a fellow who is crying,” he said. Editor in Chief Gérard Biard added that Charlie’s Muhammad here is a far kinder character than the one evoked by the terrorists who gunned down his staff.

As usual, Charlie Hebdo’s cartoons mock everyone, without mercy or distinction, often crudely.

One drawing, by Tignous, one of the cartoonists killed last Wednesday, depicts an Islamist cleric telling peers, “Charlie Hebdo people shouldn’t be touched… otherwise, they will pass for martyrs and, in paradise, those assholes are going to steal all our virgins!” Another Tignous cartoon features a woman lifting up her burqa to reveal all, complete with garter and fishnets, and a crowd of penis-nosed clerics looking on from inside the open garment.

But Christians, too, are singled out for crude banter. One cartoon by Cabu, who was also murdered last week, has Pope Francis giving Communion to women who were excluded for so long. “My God, forgive these cocksuckers,” goes his thought bubble.

Another cartoon mocks Charlie opportunists and profiteers: “Meanwhile in Bangladesh,” it reads, as a sweatshop worker making a “Je suis Charlie” T-shirt proclaims, “With you with all our hearts!”

“For the past week,Charlie, an atheist newspaper, has been accomplishing more miracles than all of the saints and prophets united,” the editor writes in an issue full of obscene jokes about Muslims, the pope, and French politicians.
And the terrorists get theirs, too. In the usual Charlie Hebdo backpage feature, “Covers you were spared,” several panels feature the gunmen who slaughtered the paper’s staffers. One reads, “Cartoonist at Charlie Hebdo, 25 years of work; Terrorist, 25 seconds of work. Terrorist, a trade for loafers and wankers.” Another, entitled “After visiting a newspaper, death at a printshop,” shows the terrorist Kouachi brothers lying in a pool of blood among stacks of paper. “I’m scared this will seem a bit intellectual,” one says to the other. A third cartoon, captioned “Our pencils will always be sharper than your bullets,” shows a masked terrorist evidently surprised to receive a massive pencil up his ass.

Calling out hypocrisy:

The irony of the past week is not lost on Charlie Hebdo’s surviving staff. Observers agree the terrorists who massacred ten staffers in the satirical weekly’s offices last week, including its headline political cartoonists, have done a disservice to their cause. A usual print run in the tens of thousands is dwarfed by millions for sale this week and a newspaper that has struggled financially has seen donations pour in en masse from all over the world. Despite a marginal readership, Charlie Hebdo made history on Sunday when four million people flooded into France’s streets in protest and support, the most marchers ever recorded in a nation that knows a thing or two about mass protests.

But Charlie isn’t intimidated by its newfound friends, welcoming “the ones we’ll keep for life and the ones very briefly passing by.” In his lead editorial, Editor-in-chief Biard waxed ironic about how “for the past week, Charlie, an atheist newspaper, has been accomplishing more miracles than all of the saints and prophets united.” What made the staffers of his “atheist newspaper” laugh most this week, he writes, was the bells of Notre-Dame chiming in the weekly’s honor. Biard thanks the supporters who “sincerely and deeply ‘are Charlie.’ And we say screw the other ones, who couldn’t give a toss anyway.”

“In recent years, we’ve felt a little alone,” Biard explains, recalling previous threats and attacks against Charlie Hebdo, including a 2011 firebombing of its offices, and calling out those who would describe his staffers as “Islamophobes, Christian-phobics, provocateurs, casters of oil on the fire, racists, you-had-it-coming.” He chides critics long equivocal about the threats Charlie faced: “Yes, we condemn terrorism, but. Yes, threatening cartoonists with death isn’t good, but. Yes, burning down a newspaper is bad, but.”

The paper’s centerfold includes cartoons of Sunday’s demonstration, noting the irony of Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu and Germany’s Angela Merkel, both of whom the paper has roundly mocked, being ferried to the march in a tour bus. “One family of clowns decimated, 10 found,” one cartoon reads, above a crowd of French politicians, including President François Hollande and former President Nicolas Sarkozy.

French Prime Minister Manuel Valls has been omnipresent in support of the attacked newspaper, even making an appearance at its borrowed headquarters this week as Charlie’s surviving staff hammered out this issue. Regardless, one piece doesn’t shy from arguing that any holes in French intelligence which may have enabled the massacre were on Valls’ watch. And another snipes at the Western media’s habit of blurring out the Charlie Hebdo covers it features, singling out the Associated Press and The Guardian, undeterred by The Guardian Media Group’s pledged $150,000 donation to keep Charlie Hebdo going.

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Charlie Hebdo Cover Features Muhammad Holding ‘Je Suis Charlie’ Sign

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Charlie Hebdo revealed their cover image for this week’s issue, printed just days after two gunmen opened fire on the newspaper’s Paris office, killing 12 people. Four of the Charlie’s cartoonists were killed in the attack.

Muhammad holding a “Je Suis Charlie” sign with the caption, “All is forgiven.”

The newspaper said that it will print over 1 million copies this week, with financial help from Google, Le Monde and other organizations. They may even print an extra 2 million depending on the demand. It usually prints around 60,000.

Rock Stars: See Historic Climbing Moments on Yosemite’s El Capitan

TIME

On Jan. 14, Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson, two American climbers, scaled the fabled Dawn Wall in Yosemite National Park using just hands and feet. The façade, located on the southeast side of the massive El Capitan rock formation, was widely considered an impossible climb without the help of ropes. Caldwell and Jorgeson’s story builds upon decades of record-breaking (and bone-breaking) climbs on El Capitan in the Yosemite Valley. Above are some of the trailblazers who paved the way for their success.

Two of those featured are Warren Harding and Dean Caldwell (no relation to Tommy), who over nearly 27 days in 1970 became the first to scale the Dawn Wall, though using ropes and rivets. In the video below, co-directors Nick Rosen and Peter Mortimer share with TIME an exclusive clip from the award-winning documentary Valley Uprising, which shows Harding and Caldwell’s infamous 1970 ascent. The film, which…

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Foie Gras Freedom Is Also a Win for Free Speech

TIME

The overturning of California’s idiotic and repressive ban on the production and sale of foie gras is a small but important victory for “food freedom.” The only downside is that the decision is open to appeal, so it might be temporary.

The ban was passed in 2004 but only went into effect in 2012. The politicians responsible—including then governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who hypocritically claimed to be probusiness and in favor of limited government—said they wanted to give producers and restaurants time to adapt to the change. But in fact the long lag time had everything to do with Golden State term limits. By the time the ban was in full force, you see, none of those responsible would still be in the legislature.

As defined by the nonprofit Keep Food Legal, food freedom is “the right to grow, raise, produce, buy, sell, cook and eat the foods of their…

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